Stewart Fishin' For a Win?

Tony Stewart traded his firesuit for some fishin' clothes Tuesday when he took part in the inaugural Office Depot Foundation Charity Fishing Tournament at Lake Okeechobee in Florida.

How'd he fare? Well Stewart's team didn't win the tourney, but they did finish in the top third of the 37-boat field and caught its five-fish limit, with a total catch weight of just over 10 pounds.

Joining Stewart from left to right: Ed Cooper of Sanford/Newell Rubbermaid, Ken Karroll, professional guide, and Wade Eveleth, senior director of merchandising for Office Depot.

Photo credit: Gort Productions

Dear Danica, Don't Make Us Look Bad

It's all over the Web - Danica Patrick will reportedly drive for JR Motorsports next year in the Nationwide Series (and maybe for KHI in the truck series as well).

From the moment ESPN's Ryan McGee broke the story, fans from Bangor to Birmingham have been opining both positively and negatively about Patrick's move to the NASCAR ranks.

I'm no IndyCar expert, and I sure can't speak credibly to Patrick's racing acumen. But I do have a request for Patrick as she makes her NASCAR debut: don't make us look bad.

It's gonna take a while for Danica to earn the respect of the NASCAR community. And she's just been handed a historic opportunity to show what a woman can do behind the wheel. Maybe if she follow these three little rules, Danica will find the transition to Nationwide just a little bit easier.

1. There's no crying in NASCAR - Lots of fans doubt if Patrick is tough enough to handle the rough and tumble world of stock car racing. I'm just hoping she doesn't tear up if things don't go her way (or even if they do). Women have a hard enough time being taken seriously in their chosen careers without bursting into sobs every time they get frustrated. And if the only woman on the track cries on camera, there goes any hope for our gender in the sport.

2. Hissy fits are not an option - In short, Partrick needs to leave the diva in the motorhome and exhibit some humility when she enters that Daytona infield. Respect the sport. Respect the other drivers. Show up with a visible appreciation for the history of NASCAR as well as an appreciation for the fans--it'll make your transition to the sport that much easier.

3. Keep the clothes on - Yes, Danica is drop-dead gorgeous and the male population would gladly cut off their right ear just for a chance to sweep her pit stall. But, in solidarity with her female counterparts, Danica needs to show those boys that she's more than just a piece of eye candy who can wheel a car. She needs to really impress them on the track. Be a tough competitor with an unquenchable fire to win. In short, give us more to talk about than just her cleavage.

The Unboring Side of Talladega

From the stripper poles on Talladega Boulevard to the chicken car in the infield, Dega sure wasn't boring. And even though the race itself wasn't what you'd call a thriller, the fun and festivities were memorable to say the least:

Note to self - next time, pack muddin' shoes: Saturday at 'Dega looked like NASCAR's own version of Woodstock--with rain, clouds and a bunch of formerly shiny, happy race fans coated in mud. The concert space for the night's Zac Brown Band show was a virtual pit of goo. But the fans didn't seem to mind (at least the ones wearing boots or galoshes.)

Yes, they need a man step: This may be neither here nor there, but to assist the Cup drivers with getting into the truckbeds for their pre-race trip around the track, NASCAR officials give them the benefit of a small plastic footstool. Sure, it may not be the most manly way to climb into a pickup, but for those who are more vertically challenged, it probably saves some face.

Martin's the Man: Mark Martin signed just about every autograph down the line on his way to the driver's meeting, and he also seemed to make a point to hang with AJ Allmendinger before driver introductions. It could've been mere coincidence, but something tells me that's just the kind of guy Mark is--his conversation with AJ sure kept the fans who gathered nearby from harrassing the driver about his recent DUI arrest.

Some People Shouldn't Be Allowed to Leave the House: Combine Halloween with Talladega and you can pretty much predict that there will be some off-kilter costume choices. The most memorable? The dude dressed as a giant phallus, the desperate soul who was offering "free mammograms," and the guy who duct-taped a turkey to his head (memorable not so much for the turkey, but for his method of construction - is there anything duct tape can't do?)

Little Bit of Chicken Fried: Yes, that was Brian Vickers driving the chicken car around the infield on Halloween night. That car got around Dega better than Max Papis.

Dega's Most Hated: It's no surprise that the biggest jeers from Talladega race fans were reserved for Kyle Busch and Jeff Gordon. I chalk up Busch's poor reception to his rivalry with Dega's favorite son, Dale Jr. And Gordon was most cruelly jeered when he had to be pushed to pit road because he ran out of fuel. But I was truly surprised by the vitriolic remarks hurled Juan Pablo Montoya's way when he was introduced on Sunday. Guess he has a bit more convincing to do before he wins those Alabama fans over.

My Home's In Alabama: Maybe the coolest surprise of the day (at least for this Southern girl), was when Alabama's lead singer Randy Owen took the stage to sing "My Home's In Alabama" before the Star-Spangled Banner. Owen must also be at home in Talladega 'cause he made the crowd cheer with his black Earnhardt jacket.

Speaking of music: The Zac Brown Band and Randy Owen weren't the only performers entertaining the crowds at Dega. Although I didn't see this show myself Colt Ford - and his rendition of Charlie Daniels' "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" - sure had fans raving on Sunday. Folks were calling it the best show of the weekend - might need to check out that CD.

Newman's Wreck Is NASCAR's Catch 22

Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

Unfortunately for Ryan Newman, when it comes to Talladega, he's been both.

This spring, Newman got a load of Carl Edwards' car crashing into his windshield before Edwards went airborne into the fence. Yesterday, it was Newman who went flying into Kevin Harvick's windsheild in one scary wreck. It ended with Newman hanging upside down by his saftey belts - and then being cut out of the car before walking away.

Newman was visibly shaken when talking to reporters after exiting the infield care center. And you can't blame him -- he even offered to give NASCAR the benefit of his engineering degree if it would help them make the racing at Dega a bit safer and less free-flying.

And therein lies the dilemma. Lots of fans were bored at Talladega. In the grandstands (for most of the race), all I could hear were folks complaining about the "snoozefest of a race." And to be fair, the single file laps did seem to last forever and a day.

That said, even the most bored of race fans does NOT want to see a wreck like what we saw on Sunday. However, fans d0 want to see racing, passing and bump drafting - which at Talladega leads to flying race cars. It's a Catch 22.

Maybe NASCAR will take Newman up on his offer to help - cause somebody needs to do something. And that something doesn't need to be flattening the curves.

Do Something Crazy Jimmie - It's Dega!

What's not to love about Jimmie Johnson?

He wins races, looks like a model, does tons of work for charity, and is on the verge of a something that hasn't been accomplished in the history of NASCAR. Still I wonder...even if Johnson does win his fourth Cup championship in a row, will that be enough to make him famous?

At the risk of writing the biggest understatement of the year, Johnson is a racer who knows how to win. He's calm. He's patient. He doesn't send people spinning into the fence as a general rule. And he's bound and determined to fight back to the front when a race takes a less-than promising turn. But the same personality traits which have put Johnson into this history-making position may be the reasons why he isn't what you'd call the face of NASCAR.

In fact, Johnson is so "unfamous" that when he and Jeff Gordon attended Game One of the World Series this week, the cameras never honed in on the driver of the #48. In contrast, they did show Gordon for a considerable bit of time. It's as if the Fox camera crew didn't know who Johnson was. Or else they assumed their viewer's didn't.

During today's chat with the media, a reporter asked Johnson how he felt about being omitted from the Series broadcast while his teammate was not. Here's what he said: "Man, I was up there eating peanuts and having a beer. I didn't want to be on TV. We're on TV enough. Too bad it rained and the Yankees lost, but I was just having a good time."

A very PC answer from a very polished interviewee. But maybe if Johnson went "un-PC" some of the time, he'd endear himself to race fans a bit more. I'm sure Johnson would rather make racing history than get his mug shown during the World Series broadcast. But it sure wouldn't hurt the sales of NASCAR merchandise if Johnson was a bit more, well, notorious. And it would sure as heck make for some good TV.

Even Jeff Gordon said today that Johnson needs an enemy. And, there's quite possibly no better time to begin a big rivalry than Halloween weekend in Talladega. Perhaps Johnson could throw a few punches Kurt Busch's way, throw tacos at Juan Pablo or cuss out Denny Hamlin on pit road.

At the very least, Johnson could try stealing the pace car. Now that would make for some good TV--and perhaps a little fame to boot.

Breakin' Up With Junior Is Hard To Do

Call me crazy. A dreamer. Out of touch with reality or blinded by perception. But regardless of all the red flags that tell me I should, I just can't bring myself to break up with Dale Junior just yet.

To be honest, it's been tempting at times. A smarter fan than me would leave Junior for a Cup driver with more going for him - say a few wins, a spot in the Chase and a Cup team with his name on it. And on the surface, it looks like there's no good reason to stay. After all, the fans of other drivers don't have to suffer the pointed insults, ceaseless speculation and nagging doubts at the hands of the media and their peers.

But at the risk of suffering more hardship, disappointment and yes, even the whispers of my friends, I'm gonna stand by Dale Earnhardt Jr. like Tammy Wynette - at least for a couple more seasons.

Because say what you will about his disappointing performance, Junior is like the boyfriend you just can't turn loose. Sure he may buy you Carhartt for Christmas and use your Lenox champagne flute for a spit cup, but underneath it all lurks some serious potential and the makings of a winner. And you just know - even though your Mama says you're half-cracked and your best friend is begging to set you up with her cousin the doctor - that all Junior needs is better luck next time and the right kind of encouragement to turn things around.

So while the fans of Stewart, Martin and Johnson root their drivers on to a possible championship, this fan is gonna hunker down and cheer her boy on for a win (or at least a couple top five finishes) before Homestead rolls around.

Of course if next season also goes bust, I may seriously have to re-examine my life choices as well as my racing judgment. But I won't worry about that now. 'Cause today I'm just not ready to walk away from Junior - at least not yet.

At Least Busch Is Popular One Day Outta the Year

NASCAR bad boy Kyle Busch may not get too much love from race fans most of the season. But when Halloween rolls around, he's the most popular driver of them all.

Of all the folks who searched for NASCAR Halloween costumes so far this year, 35 percent were looking for a Kyle Busch costume. I can only imagine what some of those costumes might look like...

In the parallel world that is Halloween, Dale Junior garnered the least number of custome searches with seven percent.

The graphic above tells the rest of the story. Interesting aside, more than half of the NASCAR costumes searched were for Hendrick Motorsports-affiliated drivers. I'm just sayin'!